Overcoming Serious Problems in Life
(utilizing psychological & spiritual approaches & techniques)
Normally when we are troubled by a major problem in our lives, we ponder the problem deeply, gravitate to the solace and help of others, or if desperate, seek help from the beyond, such as through prayer. When the problems occur, we are often startled and taken aback, left helpless and alone, lost without the knowledge and power to overcome our troubles. Yet our research has revealed that there are a number of ways we can overcome our serious problems, and even turn them into great successes.
See Negative Circumstance as Opportunity to Grow We have already spoken of the power of positive attitude. Positive attitude attracts positive circumstance from life, and can make our existence far more trouble free and joyful. Yet if we encounter a real problem, how can a mere positive attitude help us? Our first observation is that a person with a truly positive attitude sees serious problems not as negative circumstances, but as opportunities and positive ways to learn and grow. A person with such an attitude understands that beneath the difficulties there is something expressing in life and in our own deepest nature, (i.e. our soul) that yearns to be set in the right or a better direction. Because of our limited capacities, wrong past deed, etc. the circumstance and situations we come upon in life can only express as a negatively. Yet at a deeper level we perceive that this negative expression is the most direct way to bring about our further personal growth. Perceiving negative circumstance as positive potential gives us the necessary base of peace and equality to move in the right direction to solve the problems we encounter. With such an attitude one is already well on the way to solving even the most serious problems of life. Then how can we actually solve the serious problem that life presents? There are two basic approaches. The first is the more dramatic and radical approach, and involves changing yourself. The second is a series of approaches, just as powerful, yet calls for the intrusion of Changing One's Corresponding Nature The most direct, radical, and effective method for dealing with serious or long-term problems is to take any serious problem and relate it to a corresponding weakness in your character or capacities. For starters look deep within yourself and consider which negative attitudes correspond to the problem. Sometimes it is not very obvious because if we knew our bad attitudes we are likely not to have expressed them in the first place! The essential rule is however that there is a matching negative quality in yourself to any outer problem even if you don't think you precipitated the problem in the first place. The same approach can be taken with your habits, opinions, judgments, personal values, skills, knowledge, and your ability to act. Examine the problem in terms of something wanting or lacking in each of these areas, and discover where a capacity is missing. If you are able to identify the corresponding weakness in yourself to the problem at hand, and are able to reverse that weakness in yourself in some manner, you will not only have the power to reverse the problem, but you may be able to turn that problem into an unthought of greater possibility of achievement. A woman who was a temp employee at various companies over a ten year period, decided that she needed to overcome her disdain for some of her co-workers. Suddenly out of the blue she was asked to work full time at the company, her first full time job in a decade, and was even later able to sustain a raise and a better position within the company by continuing to improve herself on this same weakness. Here's another example of overcoming a negative attitude; in this case overcoming a reluctance to deal with a problem. A man had developed a serious shoulder and back pain one summer. A few months after the inception of the pain the man began to develop a software program for a company, though the details of the cost were never formally hammered out. He worked on the program for months without an agreement, and still was not sure if the program even worked. When he met with the client, the client suggested that even more work be done on the project, making the situation even more absurd to the programmer. At this point he overcame all his reluctance to confront the situation, including his own weakness and hesitation to clarify the issues at hand, and demanded a formal agreement from the client before any more work would be done. Though the parties could not come to a formal agreement, in his mind the programmer decided to halt any further work on the project. When the programmer returned from the meeting, he suddenly realized that the neck and back pain that he had continuously for six months had completely disappeared. Of course, this inner-outer correspondence approach assumes that you can identify the corresponding weakness in yourself in the first place. This is a somewhat difficult thing to uncover. (Then, of course, once you have identified the weakness you would need to sincerely act to change that weakness in yourself). For many this approach just might not be possible because we may not have the knowledge, insight, or ability to relate the problems to one or more of our lacking character or capacities. Therefore, a second approach may be required. This approach requires you to utilize one or more psychological and spiritual techniques to help you untie the knots of your life. Consecration of History For example, one approach is to use the higher power that we discussed earlier to invoke a force that can overcome our troubling problem. We call this the power of consecration and discuss it in the section called The Great Secret. As it applies to dealing with problems, one can use this power of consecration to dissolve the problem. The technique we suggest is to set aside some time, sit quietly and try not to be bothered by the problem too much. Steady yourself, and think or feel that you are about to speak with a higher power, what we call "the force." Then narrate or imagine the sequence of events that led to the problem. Finally, with intensity, offer up (i.e. consecrate) the problem to the higher power. Then let go of your thoughts and attachments to the problem, and over the next few days watch for any life response. Consider this example where a programmer was confronted with a problem that returned from the past. A software programming company had done a bid for a client in the past, and there has been a real difficulty in securing the work (because of the client's lack of funds, confusion of direction, etc.) There had been a general strain in the whole process, and the bid was not secured by the programming company. Surprisingly the programming company was asked back to do another bid for the client six months later. Before the meeting for the new contract occurred the programmer sat in his car and followed the technique of offering the histories. In his mind he narrated the events of the past and offered the difficulties to the higher power. At the meeting that ensued the client immediately gives the programming company the bid, and had the programmer immediately start working on the project at the site. As the work on the project was performed at the site the programmer noticed that everything on the project seemed to be proceeding perfectly, the very opposite of his relationship with the customer in the past. Consecrating the history of the past is a powerful way to righting a bad situation. Offering One's Past Responsibilities or Propensities Here's another, similar approach. If you know that your past actions have led to the present situation, you can "offer up" your original wrong actions to the higher power, the force, the Divine, so you can dissolve the effect of your past deeds at its roots. Thus you offer your responsibility of the past to loosen the knots of the problems in the present. Similarly, if you know specifically what specific part of your character and makeup in the past was directly responsible for the problem, you can offer this as well. (This approach has an even deeper and purifying effect on one's being.) Yet a final method along these lines is that every time the thought and emotions of the problem arises, you simply shift your thoughts and feelings to the higher power. Then at the point where the remembrance and offering to the higher power matches (i.e. substitutes for, the intensity of your feelings and emotions toward the problem itself), the solution is found. Prayer, Concentration, Meditation For those with a more religious or spiritual bent, one can also engage in prayer or concentration/meditation to dissolve a problem. For example, one who can normally pray at a deep level can expand that effort to a full three consecutive days of prayer. In the end that approach will surely dissolve the problem. Likewise someone who is able to do deep meditation or concentration can follow the same approach. (Again, at some point the intensity of the prayer, meditation, or concentration should match and surpass the intensity of one's feelings and emotions of the problem.) A woman's mammogram results indicated a dark spot, suggesting potential serious problem (i.e. breast cancer). The next day she was to have a follow-up review of the tests to confirm or reject the hypothesis. She prayed deeply. The next day at the meeting where they were reviewing her x-rays, they noticed that the spots on the x-ray had some how disappeared! She was then told of course there was no present danger to her health. Increase Gratitude Gratitude is a very special quality in humans, a quality that can be said to border on the spiritual. Some have even suggested that gratitude is a new form of goodness it the world. If we look around us we can see that individuals with a "soft nature" have a natural way of expressing their gratitude. A person who shows gratitude is in essence recognizing the goodness and rightness of the flow of events in his life; perhaps even subtly recognizing a Divine hand in things. Gratitude is a quality that moves an individual from strife and bitterness to a higher emotion that borders on love of life. We have noticed that those who are capable of gratitude normally lead a pleasant, smooth, and generally trouble-free life. Those whose sense of gratitude is weak or dull find all kinds of problems arising in their lives. Our conclusion then is that a very effective and powerful way to overcome a serious problem is to change our negative feelings toward the problem to corresponding positive feelings of gratitude to the people and circumstance related to the problem. See the goodness and benefit of the people and circumstance in your past and make your feelings positive with a sense of gratitude. This approach can solve a serious problem very quickly! Mental Bent On the other hand for many these approaches may not be suitable. For those with a more mental bent, there are solutions as well. For example, one can simply try to analyze the problem in a wider context so as to arrive at a fuller understanding of the problem. This can reveal solutions not perceived before. A Calm and Equal Basis Whichever approach you use it is important that you remain calm and equal throughout the situation. The first rule in dealing with any problem is that you need to be still and not overwrought by the problem. In an atmosphere of anger, fear, and worry, the problems only get exacerbated, and the power of these techniques are reduced. In addition, having a general positive faith that one way or the other the problem will be overcome is also very helpful. That includes accepting that what comes as a result of utilizing the above methods is for the best, even if it is not what one expected or even likes. There are some instances where one simply needs to completely forget the problem to solve the problem. For example, a person who is completely overcome by a situation may need to completely forget the problem before taking any action. Sometimes just by ignoring the problem, the problem will ease. If you are sincere in using any of the techniques suggested here, you will be able to solve any problems in your life. Furthermore, you might find that dissolving the knot of the problem also opened new doors for you and propelled you to new levels of happiness and success in life. Forget Problem to Solve It Interestingly one of the best ways to solve a problem is to forget it. When we dwell on our poverty, illness, debts and failure etc. we are only immersing ourselves more into it. On the other hand, those who forget these when they arise are putting themselves in a psychologically strong position that will help them dissolve the problem. Our emotions are less invested in them, our being is freer, and we are more susceptible to positive influences. |